Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
