I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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