weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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