you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
