I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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