This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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