He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
