Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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