nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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