YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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