Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize