I puked a lego.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
