You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
