Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You ruined the universe
Randomize
