Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
