You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
