there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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