I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We need to get me chipped asap
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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