there was a trapeze. enough said
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
