You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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