After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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