I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
