Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize