Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
