I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
