Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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