What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
