Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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