Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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