I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
