My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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