You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
