So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Come back. Shots need mouths.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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