at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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