Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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