Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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