I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
