...so i touched it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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