Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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