awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
