so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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