and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Randomize
