I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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