I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
