Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize