I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
