you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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