new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
