no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
