sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
