that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He shit in the fireplace
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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