I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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