we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
