ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
