i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
