she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
