so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It's like God shit irony all over that family
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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