It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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