trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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