i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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