how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
