Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
