I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
