every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
