he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
