Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
