just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
