If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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